Let me go on a little rant if you will....
When parenting my child, the most aggravating thing I have run across, by far, has been other people trying to parent over me. This is natural I suppose for grandparents to try to do (but seriously, stop) but for anyone else I view the practice as completely unacceptable.
We spank. I don't care if you spank or not or what you think of us spanking, and I feel no need to justify our spankings by telling you how we only do one swat and it's so light that if you do it while rough housing she'll laugh her little lungs out, I don't feel any need to go into that (even though I just did a little...). I don't care what you think about me spanking my child, when she head butts me in the face or does things that I have warned her not to do because get this, they will hurt her far worse than a spanking, we spank. That's the fact of life. Our child behaves well, is brilliant, and even tries to help us clean. Did I mention sh'es 18 months old?
I say all this because, I don't need you to step in when my child throws a fit. If my daughter is screaming, trust me, I can handle it. I don't need you to try to comfort her or distract her, teaching her that what she's doing is okay or will be tolerated, or worse yet, rewarded.
God it feels good to get that off my chest.
Now, let's talk about parenting advice. If a parent doesn't ask for it, don't give it.
You'd think it would be that simple.
I have had it up to the gills with people telling me, "Oh we tried this when so and so was throwing a fit and it worked lovely," in the middle of my stern talk with my child, I don't need anyone's opinion on what taking that tone with my child is going to do to her self esteem. Her self esteem is just fine, and I nurture it in many ways, but when it's time to be stern with my daughter, the best thing someone can do is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. The best thing anyone can do when a parent is disciplining a child, is step back. Don't interrupt the process, maybe leave the room if it makes you feel uncomfortable, in fact, leaving the room is probably best in any situation. The worst thing you can do is distract them, it won't change the outcome, it will just confuse them as to why they are being punished when you make it sound like what they are doing or how they are acting is acceptable.
Respect a parent's rules for their child. Don't get in between me and my child, don't attempt to take my child out of the building without my permission. Respect that we hold her hand in public places, especially outside, respect that we don't give her just sugar, respect that I don't want my daughter having barbies, or want her listening to music that encourages girls to do whatever young men want them to.
That being said, I don't care whether or not someone has kids when they are disrespectful of my right to parent my child in the way I feel will make her a successful and functional adult, but if you don't have kids, really, really, I can't say this in a nicer way..... just don't say anything.
I am tired of hearing it from people without kids, excuse me if this rant is taking a personal direction. I don't care whether or not you have kids, I don't care if you plan to. I'm not going to judge your life style, and I'm not going to put up with your judgement of mine. I have been called a breeder, and told that we are less evolved for wanting children, because (and this is something I was actually told) the human race is being evolved into homosexuals so children will no longer be produced, and people who have children are less evolved, thus not as smart or capable as those without. Now I both believe in evolution and I will fight for gay rights right along with them, but I don't think anyone is more or less evolved. That is such a rude thing to say. And as far as calling us breeders? Really? We have two kids (well, one is still baking). We do not live under ground, and we are not rabbits. We are, just for the record according to CNN, helping the economy, so when you are old and need a doctor, my daughter can step up and help you... with the respect for her elders that came with her spankings. That's right, I said it.
I'm also sick of people without kids, who have no experience with kids (I realize there's a wide range of experience or lack there of, but unless you are a parent and have to care for a little one 24/7, I do not consider you being a parental figure, my apologies?) making blanket statements about how people with kids are doing it wrong. Or how, this is a true story, "People who say, 'I can't remember my life without kids' are selfish bitches." So you, without kids, are credible to make that statement? I can't remember my life without my daughter, partly because I'm so wrapped up in the love I have for her I don't even want to think about how lonely my life was before her, without even knowing how lonely it was. Does that make me selfish? I don't remember what it felt like to say, "Hey dear husband of mine, would you like to spontaneously go to a movie tonight?" does that make me selfish? I think it's the exact opposite, that I can't remember what it's like to be in control of my own time, yea, real selfish.
Just for the record, I love that I can't remember what it's like to be without kids. I love that I wake up every morning (way before I would before kids) to a smiling face asking for juice. I love how she hugs me and copies our "awwwwww" and I love how she kisses me when I hand her over to her daddy after giving her a bath. I love how she runs and gets air with every little bounce step. I love that she dances to the theme song of Daniel Tiger. I love that she is such a happy girl who delights in learning new things, and I love telling her how much I love her. I love knowing that no matter what happens I will always be there for her, and I love her more than life itself, and would give mine for her in an instant with no hesitation. I love having someone to protect and teach in the way you protect and teach your own children.
So I'm sorry if my disciplining my child makes it look like I'm a terrible person, or that she is a poor, poor baby, but it's out of a love for her that is the most intense love anyone on earth has for her, as I am her mother and know her better and love her more than anyone else does. Her father and I know her best interest, and are molding her into the best version of herself. We are all for her individuality, while teaching her to be respectful and polite. She is doing a spectacular job, and I'd like to think we had something to do with it.
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